The Grinch’s Guide to Not Being Festive

When I was 25, I came out to my family. Everything changed, but if you’ve read my book, you already know that.

One of the most frustrating things people can say to me is, “Just be happy!”

If you see me day to day, you know I’m a joyful person. People often ask, “Why are you always smiling?” And I usually respond, “Why not?” But there’s something different about having the carpet pulled out from under you and then reaching the holiday season, when everyone seems to ask, “What are your plans for the holidays?”

You show up at your aunt and uncle’s house, and someone who doesn’t know your story asks how your parents are… your siblings… your nieces and nephews. You want to be honest, but it doesn’t feel polite. And in that moment, you’re pulled back into the pain of being excluded from your family’s life. What is that emotion? Grief? Sadness? Anger? I’m not sure I can even name it.

So yeah, I am not exactly a holiday enthusiast. Too many memories are tied to each one, and not all of them are easy to revisit. Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day… the list is never-ending. Honestly, why do Americans keep inventing new holidays? It’s exhausting! I mean do we really need a “National Donut Day” or “Talk Like a Pirate Day” on top of everything else?

The thing is, it’s not that I hate celebrating. It’s not that every holiday seems to come with a side of old pain, expectations, and questions I am not ready to answer. People mean well when they ask about my family gatherings or holiday plans, but sometimes those questions are little reminders of what’s missing… and what will never be able to be replaced. No amount of tinsel or twinkling lights can fully cover that ache.

So I do what I can. I smile, I sip, I navigate the chaos, and I try to find the little moments that make the season tolerable, or maybe even a little joyful. Call it my very own holiday survival guide.

Each year, it has become a little bit easier. But what I won’t be doing is twisting myself into a bow to fit into a family that does not accept me, just so they can feel more comfortable. If that makes me a little grinchy— fine. In the words of the Grinch himself, “I’ll deck my own way, thanks!”

LaScala (is) Fire!

I wanted to pause and explain my brief break from writing. I have so many places I’m excited to share with you, but between teaching and the fullness of everyday life, I realized I needed a little more time to create the kind of writing I’m proud of.

So let’s get into it! My girlfriend, Kat, lives in Medford, NJ, so we’re constantly bouncing back and forth between Jersey and Pennsylvania. Somewhere along the way, LaScala became our spot. After I hit “publish” on both of my books, this is where we came to celebrate. When friends visit, this is the place we bring them for dinner. And when I broke my ankle this past Friday, this is where we ended up, sharing dinner (and a few much-needed drinks) while we processed the day. At this point, I’m convinced there’s nothing a spicy salmon roll, a dirty martini, and a LaScala pizza can’t fix.

The kitchen has an open concept, which I love. You’ll want to sit at the main bar in the front, trust me on this. The bartenders are phenomenal, and as avid bar-sitters, we know what we’re talking about. They somehow always remember our order (not that it’s complicated), but when a place feels special to you, details like that really mean something.

On Fridays, there’s a DJ, which we prefer to enjoy from a distance. After teaching children all day, I like my peace. But if you’re in the mood for dinner and dancing, this might just be the perfect spot to unwind and enjoy the night!

If you live in the area and haven’t been here yet, consider this your sign to finally check it out. And if you’re not local? It’s still worth the drive! You cannot fake smiles like the ones pictured below!

See you there!

Date Night with Kat

Pure joy

Countess? I mean Condesa.

Hey friends! Long time… no table. Teaching is hard work, and I’ve been busy, busy, busy!

Before we dive in, I want to share a little rule of mine: I only post about places where the food is delicious and the people who work there are clearly passionate about what they do. I’m not here to tell you where not to go, and you’ll never find me wasting energy writing about bad experiences. There’s already enough negativity in the world, this space is all about choosing positivity and celebrating the good stuff.

So with that said, let’s talk about a place that truly deserves the spotlight. On October 26, my girlfriend and I met up with her longtime friend at Condesa, a hidden gem tucked away on Ludlow Street in Rittenhouse. The word “Condesa” is Spanish for “countess” 👑 , and honestly, the name fits. From the moment we walked in, I could tell we were in for something special. Every detail felt intentional, from the thoughtful layout to the inviting aroma drifting from the open kitchen. The energy was warm, the space was stunning, and the staff greeted us with the kind of enthusiasm that instantly makes you feel like family.

A sneak peak at the menu

I’ll be honest, if you tend to play it safe when it comes to food, Condesa might push you a little out of your comfort zone. But trust me, it’s worth the adventure. Kat and I kicked things off with an order of guac, which (perfect timing!) arrived just as our guest walked in. Creamy, fresh, and perfectly seasoned, it set the tone for the rest of the meal.

When it came to drinks, I was pleasantly surprised to see mezcal margaritas highlighted on the menu. I highly recommend giving one a try. Smoky, smooth, and full of personality, just how I like it. In my opinion, there’s never a bad time for mezcal.

All three of us were completely blown away by the Grilled Ensalada César. Sometimes, it feels like every restaurant tries to reinvent the Caesar salad these days, and sometimes I’m just like, “enough already.” But this one? This might have been my favorite thing I tasted all night!

I also ordered the Queso Fundido, because let’s be real, there’s nothing more exciting to me than pork chorizo and long hots. And while it tasted amazing, I’ll admit it was a little… stinky. That said, do I regret eating it? Absolutely not. Totally worth it.

For dinner, I really stepped outside my comfort zone with the Cabrito tacos, made with braised goat birria. I told my friend about it the other day, and she was like, “It’s not that uncommon.” And I was like… bitch, when’s the last time you actually ate goat? Eye roll.

Anyway, despite my initial hesitation because I’m usually the most basic when it comes to tacos, I would go back just for those Cabrito tacos. Sorry, goats… you’ve officially won me over.

To wrap up the evening, I ordered chocolate meringue. Ever since I met Kat, I’ve been taking extra classes at the gym because dessert is a yes. Every. Single. Time. And let me tell you, this one whipped me off my feet, totally worth every calorie.

In these dark times, we have to appreciate every small moment. What brings me joy? Restaurants. There’s just something about them. I love any reason to get dressed up. I love the anticipation on the car ride there…what will the drink menu look like? I love the connection of gathering around a table, sharing food that’s been so thoughtfully prepared. And at the end of the night, I love making sure my server has been taken care of, because I know the struggle and the effort it takes to make an experience truly special.

Condesa reminded me exactly why I love dining out. It was an experience that hit every note. Nights like this, filled with laughter, great food, and genuine connection are the moments I hold onto. If you’re looking for a place that combines incredible cuisine with a welcoming, vibrant atmosphere, Condesa is it. I know I’ll be back… and I’ll be counting the days until I can.

Let’s Talk About (The) Love

Take a seat, trust me

Samson and 18th hum

With something sweet

And two love birds

A greeting from Zachery

Great beginnings

Line-caught

Meyer’s lemon risotto,

Gone

in a heartbeat

A moment out of thyme

This love works the dough

You taste the reward

A love worth showing up for

Walk towards this love

Still warm,

And waiting for you

On Your Way to Cape May (Part 3)

Stop 9: Port

As the sun began to set, we made our way to Port for dinner, arriving a bit earlier than expected, partly our excitement and partly out of concern for the looming storm that may make its debut. We snagged some seats at the upstairs bar, which was a stunning space with an inviting, coastal elegance. Our bartender, Jeremy, was exceptional. He set the tone for unforgettable evening. Naturally, Kat and I started with Port’s signature “girl dinner”, a perfectly chilled Bombay Sapphire extra dirty martini. Behold the beauty in the photo below.

Hello gorgeous.

We kicked off our culinary adventure with the Tuna Crudo, a dish that immediately set the tone for the evening. Delicate slices of tuna were paired with a bright cara cara marmalade, layered with subtle notes of sesame, ponzu, togarashi, and cilantro. The balance of citrus, spice, and umami was so addictive that I genuinely considered lifting the bowl to drink the last drops of sauce once the crudo was gone. Thankfully, Jeremy, our ever-knowledgeable bartender, suggested a local tequila pairing (the name escapes me now, much to my frustration). We opted for his recommendation, keeping things classy instead of actually picking up the bowl and drinking it.

Tuna Crudo

For dinner, Kat and I split the Rib Eye special, and, unfortunately, we devoured it so quickly there wasn’t a shred of evidence left to show you. It was served with wasabi whipped potatoes, an unexpectedly brilliant twist that quite literally changed my life. As the night drew to its inevitable close, we capped it off with the most incredible cheesecake, rich, silky, and impossible to forget. When I checked Port’s Instagram today and saw their seasonal pumpkin cheesecake, I felt a genuine pang of longing that I wasn’t there to taste it for myself. Sigh

Are you drooling yet?

I want to send a special thanks to all the places that made our stay in Cape May so memorable. Kat and I love to travel, but it’s especially meaningful when we find ourselves surrounded by people who pour as much love into their craft as I do into enjoying it.

In the meantime, I’ll be out exploring the flavors of fall, and I can’t wait to share what I discover next.

On Your Way to Cape May (Part 2)

Stop #4: Carney’s

After our superb dinner, Kat and I weren’t quite ready to call it a night. Our room at the Wilbraham Mansion did have its own hot tub. The main house even features a heated indoor pool, but we’d heard there was live music at Carney’s, a spot known for drawing a lively, all-ages crowd. We arrived just in time to catch the tail end of the Sindi Raymond Band, and I was instantly hooked by the energy of the place. The late night set featured a group called Anger Management, and while we only managed to catch half of the performance (10 PM-2AM), it was enough to make me wish I weren’t such a lightweight. We did have an early day, and I did not want to be dragging all day on Saturday!

This photo was taken off Carney’s instagram.

Stop #5: Mad Batter

Luckily, we woke up feeling refreshed on Saturday, and the rain that had been forecast never made an appearance. The weather was absolutely perfect, and with the cutest outfit already planned, it felt like everything was falling into place. Have I mentioned the entire town was decorated for Halloween, which is our favorite holiday?

Needless to say, we woke up absolutely starving. When we arrived at the Mad Hatter, we instantly grabbed seats at the bar, always our favorite spot when we have the choice. Everyone we spoke to before the trip insisted this was a must-try, and they weren’t wrong. We ordered two mimosas and decided to split the award-winning pancakes (though between us, you should go for the French toast…listen to the bartender’s suggestions, I repeat, listen to the bartender’s suggestions) and the country breakfast for two. I loved that the country breakfast came as a shareable portion, allowing us each to choose our own meat. Kat got her crispy bacon, and I was perfectly content with a thick, juicy slice of ham, my personal favorite.

Stop #6: Washington Street Mall and A Ca Mia Ristorante, Bakery, and Coffee Shop

After breakfast, we decided it was time to do a little shopping. I was on my best behavior, it was Kat’s birthday trip, after all, but it took every ounce of self-control not to splurge, especially with so many charming boutiques lining the Washington Street Mall. We were on the hunt for a new wallet for Kat, and we hit the jackpot at Cape May Leather. She found the perfect Fossil wallet, and we managed to snag it at an incredible price, a true win-win for us both. While exploring, we stumbled upon the most charming little café called A Ca Mia Ristorante, Bakery, and Coffee Shop. Naturally, baked goods were purchased and coffee was enjoyed. How could we resist? It was the perfect mid-morning stop, and one I’d highly recommend to anyone visiting Cape May.

Stop #7: Ebbitt Room

That morning, we were this close to having breakfast at the Ebbitt Room instead of the Mad Hatter. We noticed the line out the door at Mad Hatter, but managed to snag seats at the bar, so we promised ourselves we’d return to the Ebbitt Toom later on, and we did, after our shopping spree. Duh. The cocktail menu was simply too good to resist, and the building’s inviting aesthetic all but called out to us, “Come in!”

I immediately struck up a conversation at the bar. It was just that kind of warm, welcoming place. Our bartender, Leo, was unforgettable. He is the Ebbitt Room…his charm and energy embody everything that makes the place special. Later, I went on their Instagram to relive a bit of that magic, and guess who I found featured there? Leo himself.

Visit The Ebbitt Room’s instagram to see for yourself!

Kat always teases me for my habit of declaring, the moment I enjoy something, “This is the best ___ I’ve ever had!” That’s exactly how I felt about Leo’s sangria. I can’t say for sure if he was the one who made it, but I do know this — I’ll be returning to the Ebbitt Room for another glass of that magical potion. It was everything.

Since we had just eaten, we didn’t have the privilege of trying lunch or dinner here, but we’ll definitely be back. And if I ever find myself in a position of fabulous wealth, we’ll be staying at The Virginia, which, as it turns out, doubles as an elegant boutique hotel.

Stop #8: The Brown Room at Congress Hall

Kat was determined to stop by The Brown Room at Congress Hall, and naturally, I was happy to join her. The lounge had a dark, moody vibe—not in a bad way, but more of an intimate, mysterious atmosphere. It wasn’t warm lighting, if you know what I mean—more shadow and depth than glow. Despite the cool ambiance, I have to admit it was warm in more ways than one. Within minutes, I was glistening and silently willing the air-conditioning to kick in. A touch more chill in the air would have made it absolute perfection.

I was starting to get hangry, so we ordered the Tuna Crudo, served with a delectable miso vinaigrette and a hint of chili oil. There were no survivors. My jalapeño gimlet was the perfect companion, its bright heat balancing beautifully with those umami-rich miso flavors. Kat opted for a Cherry Bourbon Sour, and both drinks, pictured below, perfectly complemented the afternoon vibe we were looking for.

Jalapeño Gimlet (left) and Cherry Bourbon Sour (right)

With some time to spare before dinner, Kat and I returned to our favorite spot by the fire pits outside Blue Pig Tavern. It was such a beautiful day, and we wanted to soak up as much of the outdoors as possible before the promised storm rolled in.

Dream it

〰️

Dream it 〰️

Curious about our dinner at the legendary Port in Cape May? Tune in this evening for the final chapter of our Cape May adventure, you won’t want to miss it!

On Your Way to Cape May? (Part 1)

Apologies for my brief absence. Life has been wonderfully full lately, leaving little time to sit down and write. This past Wednesday marked my girlfriend Kat’s birthday, and to celebrate, we spent the weekend on a charming getaway to Cape May. I’ve been eager to share a few of our favorite spots from the trip. If there’s one thing to know about Kat and me, it’s that we have a deep appreciation for good food, and Cape May did not disappoint.

We stayed at the Wilbraham Mansion, and I’m pleased to report that not a single ghost disturbed our dreams. Cape May, with its Victorian charm and storied past, is well known for its ghost sightings. Admittedly, I’ve been known to attract a few of them myself. Doug Carnes, the innkeeper, graciously drew us a map and shared the inside scoop on his favorite local spots. His recommendations completely reshaped our itinerary, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this trip, it’s to trust the locals over the Google stars every time.

Stop #1: Elaine’s Restaurant and Bar

Elaine’s Restaurant and Bar doubles as a boutique hotel.

We actually visited twice, once on Friday when we arrived, and again after dinner on Saturday night. We’d been told to stop by for the drinks and the atmosphere, and it did not disappoint. While I can’t personally speak to the food, our waitress, who was wonderfully kind, swore by the pork chop if you plan to dine there. I’m a little frustrated with myself, as a fellow waitress, for not remembering her name, but she graciously gave us a full rundown of the island and its local gems.

Stop #2: Blue Pig Tavern

After our stop at Elaine’s Restaurant and Bar, we still weren’t quite ready for dinner, but we also weren’t in the mood to shop. As we wandered through town, we came across the fire pits outside Congress Hall, complete with an inviting outdoor bar. The atmosphere was lovely, relaxed yet elegant, so we settled in with glasses of wine. Before long, I struck up a conversation with two women whose children had been married at Congress Hall. They still return every year, just the two of them, to relive the memories. As it turned out, we had plenty in common! One had raised her children in Medford, New Jersey, where they’d gone to school with two of my closest friends. The other worked in the literary world, so we shared a passion that sparked a lively conversation!

I was even offered a job while we were there, apparently, I couldn’t resist tidying up after other guests. What can I say? The waitress in me never takes a day off.

Stop #3: Oyster Bay Restaurant and Bar

The food here is absolutely outstanding. From the moment we walked in, we knew this was the spot. The kind of place locals return to again and again. The bartender clocked us immediately after we ordered our drinks. Kat started with an Old Fashioned, to which he replied confidently, “I got you.” When I ordered one later in the evening, he served mine with a straw. We love a bartender with character. Kat and I can never resist roasted long hots, so naturally, we ordered them to start. For our main course, we took Doug’s recommendation and went with the 8 oz. center-cut filet, a choice we certainly didn’t regret.

Stay tuned for Part 2 this evening, where I’ll dive into Cape May’s nightlife, live music, and the adventures that carried us through Saturday and Sunday. You won’t want to miss it!

Manayunk Memoir (Part 1)

3,854.

That’s how many photos I’ve taken in Manayunk, Pa.

The first one? December 15, 2015, at Manayunk Brewing Company. I still remember it like it was yesterday.

Back then, this small, quirky community felt like Manhattan to me—big, electric, full of promise. I was younger, wilder, and definitely drank more than I should’ve that night.

But I’ll never forget the kindness of a 31‑year‑old woman—a complete stranger at the time—who made sure I got home safely.

I’m 31 now.

I made my second trip to Manayunk on February 24, 2017, when I was still desperately hanging onto the notion that I was straight. Sigh.

In 2020, I moved to Manayunk with my then‑girlfriend, who I do not have permission to write about—so I won’t. A lot has changed since then. Clearly.

When we broke up, I was legitimately a wreck. Like, seriously—I was not well. I had what some may call a mental breakdown. I thought adopting a puppy would help, and in retrospect, it may have. After all, I’m writing a children’s book series about her (stay tuned!).

In all seriousness, though, I do not recommend doing what I did. I didn’t need a therapy dog. I needed therapy. Period.

This is what led me to EMDR therapy.

I went on a walk with an old friend, and while we walked, I felt dead inside. I know that sounds dramatic, but it’s true: I felt nothing.

I know some of you may think my writing about my family is somewhat excessive, but I cannot express enough that, had I not gone to therapy, I would not be alive to tell this tale. My mom broke my heart. Without my amazing therapist—whom I paid thousands of dollars for—I wouldn’t just have a shattered heart. I’d have an ashen one.

I want to take a moment to thank those who stuck by me during that period. I don’t even recognize myself when I look at pictures. In fact, I have deleted most of them. It’s too hard to see myself during that period. Someone else might not notice—but I can see the pain in my eyes, in my energy. I hurt a lot of people, but mostly myself. I am genuinely sorry.

As far as I know, my mom has never read any of my books. We don’t speak. I wish I could say I didn’t care, but that would be a lie. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her.

No matter what anyone says, a mother is irreplaceable.

My writing helped heal me—but this heartbreak? This one’s a lifelong battle. When I came out, it was like the rug was pulled out from under me. The person I was before... she erased her. In her eyes, I’m nothing more than that: gay.

While in therapy, I began—or I guess, continued—writing in my Notes app. I rebuilt myself there. Like before, I worked and ate in restaurants, as one does. From an employee standpoint, I had a few traumatizing experiences (IYKYK), while others led me to unexpected connections, small joys, and stories worth telling.

I hope you’ll follow along with my journey—to the places that held my becoming, the memories etched into their walls, and the road I carved back to myself. I am proud of who I am now—not in spite of being gay, but because I am so much more than the word they used to try and define me.

(Fall) Features

If you’re new here, welcome! I’m a proud resident of Conshohocken, PA—and an unabashed lover of great restaurants. In my latest book, After the Fall, I highlight a few of my favorite local spots—places that hold some of my most cherished memories since moving to Conshy. I gave readers a brief glimpse into why these places matter so much to me in the book, but here’s the longer version—the full story, with all the flavor and entertainment you might’ve been looking for.

I’m the youngest of three siblings, with a 12-year age gap between me and my oldest. By the time I came along, my parents—especially my mom—were just about over the whole cooking thing. So, dining out became a staple of my childhood. Eating at restaurants wasn’t just a treat—it was a way of life. And as I got older, I didn’t just enjoy eating out—I started working in the industry, too.

Like many teachers, I’ve had to wear multiple hats to make ends meet. My first restaurant job was at Hymie’s, a beloved Jewish deli in Merion, PA. It was there I learned how to stand up for myself—and developed the kick-ass waitressing skills I still carry today. Turns out, I’m just as good at managing the needs of hungry adults as I am at wrangling a classroom full of kids.

Because let’s be honest: teaching doesn’t come with a luxury paycheck. If it did, I wouldn’t have worked five to six nights a week while pursuing my dream of educating young minds—and still trying to keep up with some kind of social life.

From Hymie’s, I worked my way through a who’s who of the local restaurant scene: Teca in Newtown Square, Limoncello in West Chester, Stone Harbor Burger Bar, Northend in North Wildwood, Hawthornes in Philly, and a slew of places in Manayunk (which is a memoir all on its own). Eventually, I found myself at Daisy Tavern in Conshohocken—my current home base and a true neighborhood gem.

Every restaurant I’ve worked in has left its mark—on my work ethic, my worldview, and my heart. In After the Fall, I wanted to pay tribute to the spaces and faces that shaped my story—both inside and outside the classroom.

This post is a special thank you to the restaurants that have not only fed me but have embraced my writing as warmly as I’ve embraced their food, drinks, and energy. These are places with that wow factor. That unmistakable something. That elusive it.

I highly suggest you go find their it for yourself.

Prunella

A fall night on 13th Ave, a girls' night's grace,

With an open window overlooking the place.

A gin-filled wing-tip, cool against the lips,

As Devon approaches, an essence that eclipses.

There was nothing "Plain Jane" about The Process we'd keep,

The menu was our invitation, promises held deep.

Yet, the memories made are the map, clear and true,

That will always guide us back to this feeling, and you.